Trees? Underwater? Mexico

Sooooo I'm on a boat. And the entire thing looks like a casino. Neon lights, glass elevators (yes, elevators) and everyone looks like they just stepped off of South Beach. We saw a guy dance-limbo his way through security. It was...the highlight of my day. And then there are those people who wear plaid sunglass lenses and sideways trucker hats. Exhibit A:

Classic.

It's actually pretty spectacular for people watching, although I don't think cruises are really my thing. I'm already feeling a bit claustrophobic, like I-want-to-jump-overboard-and-go-underwater-forest-searching-claustrophobic. There isn't very much to explore. The food is mediocre at best and the comedy we watched for a whole fifteen minutes was awful. 

On the bright side, I'm here with a friend that I've known for thirteen years. Our room is kind of art decoish, and I'm on a search for an underwater forest. A billboard in L.A. promised me underwater trees in Mexico and now I'm going to find them. That may be the thing I am most excited for on this trip. The proactive approach I'm taking? Going out on the deck every once in a while and looking into the water. No luck so far. Thank God this is only for three days because I think I would just go completely stir crazy. This isn't the kind of cruise where you get off the boat every few days to marvel at historic sites or eat food that you can't pronounce or stare wide-eyed at ethereal landscapes, it's the kind where they want you to eat twelve buffet meals a day and say Ayy how you doin? to the person sitting next to you so you can make lifelong friends. They also have things like chest hair contests and towel folding demonstrations. It just wasn't a good time to come. There aren't a lot of people our age. Getting hit on by thirty five year old men is new, especially when they tell you that you have a "hot babyface." But okay, there is one good thing about cruises and that is going onto a balcony or the deck at night, because you can't really see the water underneath you, it's kind of just dark swishy sounds, but you can sense how vast it is. It feels like an abyss. I like that feeling. I guess if there was one cruise I would really want to go on it would be to Alaska.

Well I'm going to go on the deck to see if I can spot any trees waving under the water...wish me luck. Maybe I should lower my standards and find some flooded forests instead.